We both trace our ancestry to Ireland and are as pure blood as anyone can be. I say I am Irish. My wife says she is Celtic. There is another word she uses, but I can’t pronounce it. She says it was the name of the land when the Mother of the Glen still reigned over all that was green. My heritage is Irish. Her heritage is Celtic... very, very, Celtic.Her name is also Celtic– Díonó– but nobody ever hears that right, so everyone calls her Diana. Her driver’s license and things like that even say. Oh, and the sight of those fit men in their tight baseball uniforms. I’ve always been a sucker for a baseball player. I don’t understand why. Maybe it’s all those things, maybe it’s the gloves they wear with those long fingers, maybe it’s the cups that make their organs seem so much more prodigious than mere mortal men. Something about them just gets me wet. So it was not unusual to find me there, after an amateur game on a Tuesday night, down at the local park. The out-of-towners had beat my. “Works for me,” I chuckled, snapping my fingers as I changed both Jane and I into the spitting images of Tina Fey and her husband, Jeff Richmond, “come with me.”“Oh, I will ... cum ... with you,” Jane laughed just like Tina as she took my hand.I sent the fake Tina, aka Jane, to catch up with Jeff where he was, in a musical instrument shop of all places. I laughed as I thought of what she could do with him, before putting myself where the real Tina was, in a studio dressing room. She was. "I've just asked the police department to send someone by. They'll know if anyone does."The clerk would never know how hard it was for Jill to stay, and not run out the door. Her mind filled with Ingles' taunts about him calling the police if she ever got away from him. Somehow, she forced reason to prevail. Shakily, she thanked the clerk and walked to the door where she stood sipping her coffee and staring outside.A few minutes later, a patrol car stopped out front and a uniformed officer.
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